The Christmas parties are coming up. How do you feel about that? Excited or anxious? Being able to perform joyfully on all my arenas is what I’m about, but that can sometimes conflict with social events. In this post I let you in on my decision making and how it came about.
From my point of view I can look at the party situation in two different ways right now…
1.CONS: I am too tired to socialize. I need my rest to get want I planned out of this training period. I could get sick. My time is much too precious etc etc etc
2.PROS:I feel am lucky to have been invited to many parties and events, some of which I am actually able to attend time wise. It’ll probably do me some good to socialize a bit and my wardrobe thanks me, because it mainly consists of dresses or training gear. My brain also needs a break from my work and myself.
The question remains, does the PROS outweigh the CONS? My answer is, as it often is, it depends.
TIME IS ALL WE HAVE
If you should choose to attend something or not depends on how well rested you are and whether you feel the cost of going to an event will bee too much. I don’t know about other people, but in periods for me, I balance on a very fine knife’s edge when it comes to rest, rate of recovery and tiredness. The trick when you want to keep developing both physically and cognitively is to stay on the right side of that very edge. Time is all we have, people. So ask yourself: How do you WANT to spend your time? Do you attend something out of duty or do you actually want to?
This year I’m attending a couple of parties and social events because I happen to have the time, because the dates and times just happen to fit this year! In addition, I actually want to go! Time is usually the thing that puts a break on my social life outside of my jobs and training. It it is not time, it is energy.
If I felt the least bit tired I can assure you I am the first one to gracefully cancel and go to bed early, or at least rest up. This last minute canceling when I RSVP’d weeks before might seem extremely rude, but I have been burned so many times by pushing through to be everywhere. I’d always love to see my girls, my family and so on, but no one benefits from a tired non-functioning me in the long run.
Do you have FOMO?
Fear of missing out, is what the acronym means. I know some people with serious FOMO, and it seems so stressful to me. Let’s be honest how many truly epic parties and gatherings have you actually been to? The parties that people keep talking about for years to come. I for one, don’t have many nights on the town that were like that. I’m now 31 and I started going out in Oslo when I was 16-17, so there have been a lot of going out’s over the years, including an epic party or three during university. My girlfriends and have maybe a handful of events we reminisce about. I just hope our wedding may have been one of those epic nights!
The point is, you are usually not missing out of any thing other than a regular good time! What you could be missing out on is a good training day the day after, good quality of sleep and energy so on. I for one want to sleep not just when I’m dead, but every night to live fully when I’m awake. FOMO is so extremely low in me, because I find so much joy and personal value in my own activities that I do not care about what I might be missing out on once I have made a choice to not attend something.
SOME OF US ARE JUGGLERS AND HUSTLERS
We lead different lives. If I had ONE 8am -4pm job I could be more predictable both time- and energy wise, but I am a juggler and I proudly hustle with a big H. I respect that you can’t meet me for lunch, but you have to respect that I maybe can’t see you at 5pm. This superhuman-doing-it-all-life not a life I plan to lead for the rest of my life, and I am not saying that working regular hours are not tiring. Of course it can be, but if you are like me, running your own business, an entrepreneur or a consultant, you don’t get a pay check at the end of the month unless you work as long as there is work to be done!
Today, for example, I spent 7 hours at Magnat Center, and now I’ll be working until 9:30 pm. I don’t feel sorry for my self, but this is my reality. No Netflix for the weary! This is also why rare spare time becomes so precious us jugglers and hustlers. To me time is worth more than money, but I do need the dough as well.
So if it is “burning in the office” we sometimes have to work on a Friday night rather than party to meet deadlines and make ends meet. No need to feel offended. It is nothing personal.
PLAN A HEAD
A busy work life and heavy training schedule are real issues to take into considerations, but it is possible be social, and enjoy it too, if you rest up before and plan time for rest after. With heavy schedules the total load on you body and mind probably at it’s limits. The trick is to schedule rest a head and after a social event and block you calendar for even more appointments. Also go to bed early the whole week. Unless you schedule rest you really cant expect to feel rested and ready to attack the week after a weekend of Christmas parties.
SO MANY RULES
What? so many “rules” and precautions just for attending a party or three?!?!?! Please, lighten up and let you hair down, you might think. Us jugglers actually are lit up! Do not judge until you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, is what I’ saying. I had my husband walk a weekend in mine for work, and he admitted he was beat the whole week after!
If I’m to be of any use to anyone and realize my own goals as well, I need me to be rested and lit up. At this time last year at I was a shadow of my self in social situations, because I had no energy left to socialize. I don’t think anyone noticed, but if they did I’m really sorry. I started forgetting things (like my keys, my phone) and my memory failed me in other respects as well, I had to check my calendar several times per day to remember my appointments for just the next hour or two. In social situations outside of work and training, I put on my “very interested in you and your life”-face in conversations, but I was NOT there AT ALL. I am really good at that face because I got a lot of training, unfortunately. The sad thing is that when Christmas came I cancelled a lot of the really important things, family things, so that I could just have the energy to train and function.
A DECLARATION OF LOVE
I don’t want to repeat last years state. So now I manage my time carefully, I plan ahead, I go to bed early and I say “no” or “no thank you” a lot. I hardly ever do dutiful socializing anymore, so when I say yes to your invitation you can be 100% sure that I really want to be there and that I will be as present as possible. From the bottom of mye heart, I am so happy that I, ascetic no-sayer, still get invites! Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the sweet people out there <3 I love you guys! Don’t ever give up on me and I won’t ever give up on you either! It’s just.. time, you know.
With all that said, I am ready to attack the party season! I attack it this year because I truly believe that if I do it my way I can benefit from it with a lot of renewed mental capacity. Interacting with the great minds and inspiring people that I work with and love, and wearing cute outfits doing it, is going to be superfun!
Happy Christmas partying or not-partying! Whatever you decide, that’s cool.
Just be joyful!